The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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