you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
