who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
