just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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