Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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