i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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