can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
