We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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