The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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