I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
