If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
