fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
