the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
