He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
