Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You dont lie about slip and slides
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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