I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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