I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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