she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
