he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
