I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
