he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
