I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
