sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
