Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
