According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
