Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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