u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize