so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
