Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize