This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
