I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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