i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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