Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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