Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize