She just used a chaser for red wine.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
