Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
