our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
