her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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