Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
