come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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