It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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