oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
