In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
