I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
