He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
