Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
