Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize