Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Randomize
