Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My vagina is very pro this idea
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