Dual....:-)
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize