hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
