my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dicks are not precious.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
