in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize