i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
