Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
