so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
