Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
